First of all Momma, Breath. Sit down for moment and just think of yourself. You cannot give to your family when you are in a state of emergency.
When my mind and heart get so worried I always think of my happy place: In 2010 went me and Graham when to Scotland to start his chemotherapy, a few days before he got admitted, he took me to a rapeseed field. It was a beautiful crisp chilled day and bright blue skies. Yellow flowers as far as my eyes could see. My husband stood behind me, his arms wrapped around me tight and he had his face tugged right next to mine. Even though its been many years that feeling of protection grained into my heart and soul.
It needed to, because during his treatment I needed to go there many times when I thought my world was falling apart. When loneliness got me sad and feeling of helplessness creeped in. I knew I that was not going to helpful to him if I am not in a place where I am happy within myself. I needed to be strong for both of us yet he was working harder to be strong for me.
Take a break girl, your family will still be there after 10 minutes. Find your happy moment whatever it is. Maybe your favourite song. Go in the bathroom, sit on the toilet and allow yourself a moment of you. Self-worth is so expensive when we do not practice it. Feeling of resentment set in but it is all in your hands.
The situation now is exceptional, kids home all day, homeschooling, husband in the background, dog needs a pee and what is for dinner? No one can cope on adrenaline. The situation is not likely to disappear soon so here are my tips that help me get back into my body and to be present.
1) Love yourself
We all think, I love myself, yes you do, but when we stand naked in front of mirror your thoughts are not always loving. We are so critical of ourselves and judgemental. I had to work really heard to stop telling myself ”Jacqui you are so stupid” “Can‘t you be more like so and so and be a better conversationalist” Embrace you with all your bits.
I think my husbands mission in life is to find funny videos to hear me laugh. The louder my laugh the more pleasure he gets. Watch a comedy and get happy giggles.
It works. I feel it works when you feel overwhelmed but you are conscious of your feelings. You do not just react. Honestly I used to cry to get those emotions out now I feel in better control over them. Start with 3 minutes meditation than you progress.
4) Touch Nature
Touch a tree or a plant, dig your hand into sand (if you can find some in HK) you will feel kinda silly doing it in the beginning. Close your eyes and ask Mother Nature to love you. You will feel connected and grounded. It is a very powerful feeling.
5) Find Someone to tell a deep secret or feeling
Not often do we have someone that you can confide in without being judge. Sometimes we need to pay someone. I felt so free after my hypnosis sessions. The tightness in my chest lifted and true happiness emerged.
6) Forgive yourself
Recently I went on a major self healing journey and I published a book of poems to remind me of my path to making myself a priority, above my family. You know how many feelings of mom guilt comes from that, I healed in so many ways ..... but about this in more posts to come. Stay tuned.
One day I went out on my walk I saw this butterfly so free and at peace. At the moment I was so lost and scared. I prayed that for forgiveness and peace.
This poem I wrote at that moment now I am giving it to you. You are worth it!
6) Have a glass of wine
Really indulge. Drink it with passion. Ok maybe down the first one than savour the next one. When my family went to bed I often stay up longer to watch my chick flicks. Pour wine in my special glass ..... add beautiful shoes if you please. Remember you are trying to impress yourself.
Lastly say: I feel overwhelmed not I am overwhelmed. The brain reacts differently to each. Feeling you can become detached but “am” you become!
Keep well beautiful! You got this drama under control!